I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
