all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
