It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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