It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
