There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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