Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
