I am in a vortex of obligation.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
