so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
