i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You took a bar mat shot.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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