i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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