i wish peter jackson would direct porn
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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