Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize