There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
