Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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