She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
