I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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