If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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