Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
is wine microwaveable?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
