I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Semen is not good for contacts.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
