How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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