Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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