i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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