What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
