so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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