Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize