hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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