Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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