i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think my moral compass just broke
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
