He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
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I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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