please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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