8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
