she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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