Walk of Shame. In a state park.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
