Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
