bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
