it wasn't lemon gatorade
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
