i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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