How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
