Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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