he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
handjob tips. give me some.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
