Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
