I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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