I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
