I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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