Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize