I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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