Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
