so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It was confusing and full of hummus
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
