About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
