like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
