is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I came so hard my ears popped.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
