are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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