...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
