We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
