Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
