Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm like, not good at living.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize