just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
