Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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